So my wife is pregnant with our Third child, which could arrive any day now and it has me feeling many emotions. On one hand I am so excited I can barely contain myself, because I love babies… Especially mine. But on the other hand I’m concerned about what life is going to look like trying to readjust our lives with a baby in the house. We haven’t had to do that in sometime.
Then the other day I was driving to a meeting and I started to think about when Morgan was born and all the emotions that I felt. I remember that moment when she made her arrival and I quickly counted her fingers and toes, and how I waited to hear her cry to tell me everything was going to be OK. I remember Janna holding her for the first time as I cried with joy. I remember holding her thinking to myself; “I am responsible for raising this child” and it shaking me. I remember being so proud to be her father. I also remember thinking; “I can’t believe how much I love her… already”.
Ever since that day I have had the belief that unless you have children you can’t understand the love a parent has for a child. I tell my girls all the time, that they will never understand the love I have for them and they won’t. They will never know how a father feels about their daughter(s) simply because they will never be a father.
As I reflected on all those sleepless nights, all the crying, the hundreds of dirty diapers, the first cold, the first bath, starting to crawl, her first step, her first word, etc. I can’t help but wonder about Paige… I can’t help, but wonder how much I will love her…
Well during my drive as I was thinking about all these things I felt like God said; “Imagine how I feel when someone makes the decision to follow me, imagine how I felt Andy (Insert your name here) when you made the decision to call me Father, when you were born (again)”.
It was a powerful moment… I started to look at my walk with God and I reflected on my spiritual journey and I started to wonder… How does God feel when we cry, when we start to grow in our faith. I wonder how God feels when we make a mess and He cleans it up, but we don’t realize what He has done. I wonder how much He loves me (us)?
Just as my daughters will never understand how much a father loves a daughter(s), I will never know how much God loves me (us)…
When Paige comes into this world we will celebrate, but it will be nothing like the celebration that happens in heaven when someone accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior.
- Rainey
